Thailand – Should I Confess?

This was my first trip to Asia. I had heard that a lot of “not so PC” things took place there, but didn’t think that I would actually be a participant in an activity that I look back on, thinking . . . “did I really do that?”
As a preamble, and like in so many stories that are predicated by sound decision making, I need to explain the Chang Rating System that was devised by my husband and me during our trip to Thailand. As anyone who has traveled to Thailand will explain, one of the many wonders of the area is that the best food is enjoyed on the street, made by vendors who supply tourists and locals alike. Not only is the street food the most flavorful in the Country, but it’s also the least expensive. It’s also
accompanied by another fun discovery – the street vendors ample stock of inexpensive beer. A street meal, made up of a chicken skewer, side dish with noodles, egg and vegetables, along with a cold frosty, will run you about 180 Thai Baht. 6 bucks. And next to the street food vendors all over Thailand were massive craft markets full of everything from fake rolex watches, hand carved elephants and rows of chairs with would be masseurs offering one hour of leg and shoulder kneading for 60 Baht (2 bucks). Now these areas are full of people, crowds becoming shoulder to shoulder by 9:00 at night. I found that as a Westerner who appreciates boundaries and a nice arm-length of distance in conversations, these circumstances could be somewhat uncomfortable. I have also learned over time that if I am going to be able to get any productive shopping done with husband in tow, it is best accomplished when he is in a slightly lubricated state. So, clearly, a little alcohol is in order.
The beer of choice in Thailand is the local brew, Chang. Which is like Budweiser’s cousin from the bad side of the tracks. Same taste, but a little more kick. Our rating system, which resulted in optimal handicraft shopping, is as follows: 
Chang low – no Chang, no sale. Much grumbling and querry, “Do we need this.” This question does not bode well on handicraft shopping adventures.
Chang High – Not recommended. Could lead to poorly thought out tribal Thai tattoo applied expertly with a coconut mallet and sharp bamboo stick in a sterile road side setting.

Copa Chang – Ka Ching! Copacetic. All is well, shopping bags begin to swell. Happiness.
At dinner on our first night we met a friendly gentleman from England who was staying at the resort for about a month. We asked for his recommendations. We learned about some interesting elephant treks, cooking classes, and . . . . the fish spa. What is this? Noting our furrowed brows, our dinner companion went on about the virtues of the fish spa. Apparently there are long lines for the opportunity to have tiny fish nibble away at your feet, and miraculously do away with years worth of calluses leaving your feet amazingly smooth and supple. Furrowed brows remained. Our British friend enthusiastically offered to retrieve the before and after pictures of the soles of his feet. An offer and opportunity that we respectfully declined. And therefore won’t be available for inspection as part of our confession – you’re welcome.
The next day was the famed Sunday Market in Chiang Mai, and our hotel offered a free drop off and pick up which we enthusiastically accepted. Just to set the mood, a free, or even public paid ride in Chiang Mai, consists of a sitting cattle style in a pick-up truck fitted with two vertical benches. So we’re off.
Once in Chiang Mai, we came to the rapid conclusion that our level was decidedly Chang Low, particularly for the shopping venture at hand. We took to the food vendor area and found some amazing spicy and wonderful Thai food that we washed down with ample Chang beer. Once Copa Chang, we ambled merrily down the street until we stumbled upon, yup, the fish spa.

Honestly can’t say that I noticed a big difference in my feet, and I won’t share any before and aft
er pix, (you’re welcome again). But I can say that it was fun to get outside of my comfort zone and to try things that I never imagined that I would. But isn’t that what makes travel so amazing?
Nothing like 24 hours in a cramped airplane to create a strong sense of disorientation. That’show we were delivered in Bangkok at 11:45 p.m. — tired and not sure at all where we were going. Happily most signs had English words below the Thai scripts, and most of the time the translation was accurate or at least close. We were thus able to find our wayto the taxi stand line, which took about 25 minutes to snake our way through. We had heard that Thailand was the “land of a thousand smiles,” and one was readily supplied by our cab driver. He cheerfully explained that the “meter broken” after putting our bags in the back and tucking us in. Ok, so we know better, but we were exhausted and the hotel that we were going to was supposed to be close by. We arrived within 15 minutes, and didn’t find out until the next day that the 9 dollars we paid should have actually been the fare all of way to Bangkok, 35 minutes away. In the words of George Bush, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. . . .can’t get fooled again.” Or something like that.
t vulnerable. Not a good place.













Pontone – A walk back in time
town began to emerge, and we were again greeted by the sight of donkeys carrying dirt as part of a construction effort. We had some difficulty finding the restaurant we had read about (of course it was still a good way up the hill). We arrived very tired, very thirsty, and very dirty. The owners pointed us to a patio with a gorgeous view of Almafi below. We immediately ordered a cold beer – which is really at its best when drunk on a hot day after a long hike. But even better with an amazing view.
waited we started to cool down in the breeze, and relaxed to the sound of neighbors shouting to each other through windows (who needs a phone) and roosters crowing. Our meal came and we were happily presented with melon wrapped in prosciutto and a pasta primavera that were both amazing. Doesn’t food taste better when you are starving? But was it the chef . . . the scenery . . . or the hike? I suggest going and deciding for yourself.
Just back from a trip to Thailand. We found some wonderful people, beautiful places and some great deals on products that we brought back. Check out the Thai Handbags on out site www.zygerimports.com. More products soon to come!

